Secrets / Life lessons.

I've learned that not everything is how we see it on the media. That a perfectly happy couple on instagram is in fact a rotten lie of comfort and toxic emotions. That nothing is the way it is. But it is the way we feel about it. Generations just made these frames that we all take as 'normal' but what is really normal is what clicks in our heart as 'right'. That some people need time. That I needed time. Time to do something before i do something else, time to learn who I am to myself before I let go of someone else's perception of me.
I've learned that it is ok to be weird. It is ok to be talked about. It is ok to be rejected. It's just all ok. In the end no one matters. We all just come and go and we stay with those who always match our energy.
I've learned that it is ok to hurt someone as long as your hurt them because of your shield and not with your gun.
And to all of you out there who still believe that mind games make things interesting. Guess what. That's wrong. And moreover, it's very low.
You want to say something? Say it.
"Yeah, but what if I don't get the feedback that I want to get?"
That might come as sad. You know what's more sad though? When you could have gotten EXACTLY the feedback that you wanted but you didn't because you never had the courage to speak up. Trust me, no one ever felt bad of knowing they're something big in your heart. If they didn't feel the same, they were still happy to know that they had an effect on you. That's flattering. And not getting a reply does not always mean there's nothing there. Sometimes it means EVERYTHING is there. But self worth tells them it's time to put that EVERYTHING in someone worthy of it all.
 And the pain of playing on and on the film in your mind of what could have been if only you said it then and there cannot compare to that of just finding our they're not on the same page as you.
I've learned that speaking your heart out is worth the risk of being rejected. And what we feel is what makes us us. Why would ever want to deny or hide ourselves when we're all supposed to be just grateful we're alive?
I've learned that people are sometimes stronger than you and sometimes weaker than you. Either way, it is not your fault or your responsibility to change them to what matches you, neither your duty to change so that you match them.
Sometimes people like that come into our lives and all we can do is observe.
Life lesson? Maybe. Or maybe it's just life. Maybe not everything is supposed to be something. Maybe it's just one of these things that comes just to teach us how to let them be and move on.