Myeah.

It's with a lot of grief that I have to tell you goodbye. But then, how many times have I told you goodbye?

I really did not want anything more and for a longer period of time than to be with you. Not for the sake of being with you, but for that feeling that I had with you one night in a crazy summer. But I got overwhelmed by this thought and stopped thinking about what kind of man I want next to me, or what kind of relationship, or what kind of connection I really want to have. Because I let the thought of you outshine everything else and somehow dragged it in a drawer with all that love meant in my head. 

Honey, I'n tired of waiting for something that never comes, of words that are not backed up by any action and of a pretty image that looks nothing like the reality. 

I still don't know if your mom loves me more than you do, or what you really felt for me deep down from the start til now but somehow, I don't need to know anymore. 

The very weird thing is, as hurt as my ego is that you still did not choose me during all these years is that þ, I understand you. And while this does not excuse any of your little stupid acts of cowardness, I do get that all you really think about is enjoy your youth with all that your place has to offer without having to commit to me. Fuck the pretty girls and dance those nights away. And never worry that you'd have anything to lose because except for the very beginning, you probably knew you'd never lose me. And you were right. Cause honey with you, I would have nit been able to be anyone else's, touch other lips or feel others skin. I would have loved you truely and faithfully, 5 inches or 20000 miles away. But i'm not yours.  Bevause you never truely let me in and I am done hoping. I give up. You win.

And honey, all those girls are yours. All, except for one. 

Dear God,

Do I deserve better than this? 

Do I deserve for him to look at me as if I'm magic and put me above all and everything? 

Do I deserve to know my worth and see my worth in all relationships in my life?

Miros de tei povestea ei

151128 Next week's plan

Sat design model, tech detail model (2 days)
first hand model it, then draw technical drawing of it, then draw in cad the pars you need to lasercut,
buy material (probably cardboard), then lasercut + assemble

Sun =//=
plus put together pics of performace project and show tutors on monday, plus research fish leather crafting process - in the evening. decide upon lasercutting slot

Mon book lasercut slot (how many?) be there at 8 in the morning. ask what time workshop opens
tech detail drawing (1 day)
handmodel entire model in 1:50, then take the part you need and model it in 1:10
then combine that model's ideas with the sketch Justin did at tutorial and draw it. Think of cad lasercutting parts in the same time as the drawing

Tue tech/design section 1, 2 (2 days)
do a background drawing, take pics of model and draw section according to picture and detail mag scans on trace, take measurements from model, scan in, add on background, print on A2 x2

Wed =//= maybe lasercut in the morning here!

Thu pages (1 day)

Fri print all portfolio, assemble detail model
be there at 8 in the morning to print

Sat plans (6) (one day)
do one of site, context, overlay each plan on top of that, sketch on trace, scan in, print on context x6
ask tutors if each plan should be on an A2, print accordingly

Sun presentation prep, pin up on wall (one day)
tech site analysis (4 hours)
do three sketches of site from pictures like the tech lecture slide

Mon
morning - print booklet with process work





tech detail drawing (1 day) x1
handmodel entire model in 1:50, then take the part you need and model it in 1:10
then combine that model's ideas with the sketch Justin did at tutorial and draw it. Think of cad lasercutting parts in the same time as the drawing

tech detail model (2 days)
first hand model it, then draw technical drawing of it, then draw in cad the pars you need to lasercut,
buy material (probably cardboard), then lasercut + assemble

tech site analysis (4 hours) cartrige A2
do three sketches of site from pictures like the tech lecture slide

tech/design section 1, 2 (2 days) x2
do a background drawing, take pics of model and draw section according to picture and detail mag scans on trace, take measurements from model, scan in, add on background, print on A2 x2

plans (6) (one day) x6
do one of site, context, overlay each plan on top of that, sketch on trace, scan in, print on context x6
ask tutors if each plan should be on an A2, print accordingly

pages (1 day) x20

presentation prep, print all portfolio, pin up on wall (one day)

151126 portfolio show

Booklet of everythjng else

Process on final drawings pages

30-40 pages

Sketching to show development

Constructing Landscape book!!!!!!!!!!!!

151119 Photographing models

IIIManual focus (maybe focus on figure)

Tripods: one for camera, one for extra ligh

Daylight

Background is clean

Adjust the camera so that its angle is perpendicular with model

Big aperture for big focus

Perfect exposure in the bit that s focused

Get shadows for plan ny pinning model on wall and takibg plan photo from the side. Helps with nit distorting the perspective as well

B&w better for models

Exploded axo iut of model

Spagetti model