It's with a lot of grief that I have to tell you goodbye. But then, how many times have I told you goodbye?
I really did not want anything more and for a longer period of time than to be with you. Not for the sake of being with you, but for that feeling that I had with you one night in a crazy summer. But I got overwhelmed by this thought and stopped thinking about what kind of man I want next to me, or what kind of relationship, or what kind of connection I really want to have. Because I let the thought of you outshine everything else and somehow dragged it in a drawer with all that love meant in my head.
Honey, I'n tired of waiting for something that never comes, of words that are not backed up by any action and of a pretty image that looks nothing like the reality.
I still don't know if your mom loves me more than you do, or what you really felt for me deep down from the start til now but somehow, I don't need to know anymore.
The very weird thing is, as hurt as my ego is that you still did not choose me during all these years is that þ, I understand you. And while this does not excuse any of your little stupid acts of cowardness, I do get that all you really think about is enjoy your youth with all that your place has to offer without having to commit to me. Fuck the pretty girls and dance those nights away. And never worry that you'd have anything to lose because except for the very beginning, you probably knew you'd never lose me. And you were right. Cause honey with you, I would have nit been able to be anyone else's, touch other lips or feel others skin. I would have loved you truely and faithfully, 5 inches or 20000 miles away. But i'm not yours. Bevause you never truely let me in and I am done hoping. I give up. You win.
And honey, all those girls are yours. All, except for one.
